Written by: Michelle Nannarone  

For our July Connect the Dots luncheon, Lorraine Pursell came to Center for Women on a hot and sunny Wednesday afternoon to talk about self-love. Lorraine is an educational therapist, certified life coach with a counseling master’s, international bestselling author, speaker, and TV and radio personality featured weekly on NBC for more than 2 years. She’s uplifted tens of thousands of women to feel fulfilled, peaceful, confident, and authentic again. At 12:00p.m. sharp, Lorraine stood up and dedicated the next hour to inner health and self-fulfillment. 

Lorraine has faced many struggles – and she was not afraid to discuss them with the group. The room was quiet, and everyone’s attention was focused on Lorraine and her authenticity. For as long as Lorraine can remember, her self-esteem was very low. She was constantly experiencing emotional abuse which led to eating disorders and suicidal thoughts at a young age. As she grew older, these things continued. She married a man who treated her how she treated herself – poorly. The steps into freedom only came to Lorraine after she and her husband decided to divorce. 

During that time in her life, Lorraine learned and grew a lot. The changes she made were crucial to healing from the emotional abuse she suffered. Now, Lorraine is a women’s empowerment and confidence coach, family harmony relationship expert, and speaker for women’s empowerment at women’s groups. Before this, she was a school counselor, as well as a parent and family counselor. As she says in her book, The 3 Keys to Self-Love, “My mission is uplifting others. I spend my energy lifting higher and higher and higher. That is what my inner voice tells me to do and it has served me well.” 

Along this journey, Lorraine has found 3 keys to self-love and adapts them into everything she does – including teaching other women about them. Lorraine describes those 3 keys as follows: 

 KEY 1 

ONLY DO, SEE, HEAR, AND BE AROUND WHAT FEELS GOOD 

“What feels good to you? What do you like to do? Where do you like to go? What shows do you feel good about watching? What songs help you to feel uplifted? What authors do you enjoy? What uplifts your spirits? Do those things only. And if you find yourself around something or someone that does not feel good, then turn it off, leave the room or move away. Guard your sacredness with your life. “ 

 KEY 2 

HONOR YOUR FEELINGS 

“Every moment of every day you have feelings about everything you are doing. Stop right now and check in with your gut. Are you getting a queasy feeling in your gut? How does your heart feel? We get to the point, especially as women, where we become numb to our own inner voice. This is where we get lost, start doubting ourselves and losing our personhood. So many women tell me that they do not know who they are anymore because they are all about pleasing others.  Take time for you. When you are with certain people, how do you feel? How do you feel about what they are saying? Do you feel uplifted or do you feel your energy sink? Who we hang around is very important. Environment is stronger than will. This means that we become like the people we hang around. What if you really paid attention to your feelings and what they said to you? It is an amazing journey to freedom that I am inviting you into.” 

 KEY 3 

LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY 

“The biggest challenge I have found for women is to love ourselves enough to walk away from a bad situation. For some reason, we feel obligated to take care of others when it is not serving us, that it is up to us to repair situations that are beyond repair, we are the cause of bad relationships & thereby need to fix it, we are to blame, we should feel guilty if our partner is mad at us, everything is our fault, we are the one who needs to change, we cannot leave the situation because of all of the above, and on and on and on. Whatever the situation, and whoever it is with, if you do not feel good about yourself there, it is time to reevaluate. There are a number of things you can do before leaving, and certainly leaving is not always the solution. However, if you do your best, yet feel put down, feel diminished, do not feel that your thoughts, feelings and opinions matter to the other person or to your boss, you may need to consider leaving to save your self-worth.” 

 When Lorraine finished with her talk, the conversation that stared among the attendees was significant. A woman would ask Lorraine a question, and another woman in the room would answer it and give advice. This is what we aim for at the Center for Women. We want to provide a space for women to empower other women. When women support other women, incredible things happen. Thank you, Lorraine, for an awesome talk and an awesome afternoon! 

Interested in more events like this? Check here for our schedule of events!