Now, yes, I pick on Wal-Mart, but they really do have
everything you could ever need there. Candy, step ladders,
shampoo, glue, cheap purses, iron-on pieces of paper that can be
glued onto cheap purses to pawn them off as your own design, and
the list goes on.
It was only after I got home that I realized I was on the
verge of making fashion history. Consider this: Never has a
woman ever been at a formal event, walking around carrying her
purse, and been asked: "Excuse me, ma'am, do you know where
the men's room is? And do you mind if I borrow your Sports
section?"
Pure genius.
It took a little less than 24 hours for my vision to be
complete. For your own well-being, I won't go into the details
of any of the following:
--The step-by-step process of making the purse
--The strange desire to drink wine coolers and watch
"Grey's Anatomy" while making the purse
--Carrying the purse around my living room and being spotted
by the neighbors
--Spilling an entire bottle of super glue while cleaning up
--The step-by-step process of making another purse because
you spilled an entire bottle of super glue on the first one and
then had to drink six wine coolers and fantasize about McDreamy
just to keep from killing anyone.
Now that my purse is finished, I can't wait for the big
auction April 26. Some of the others asked to design a purse
include Miss USA 2006 Tara Conner, Channel 5 anchor Debi Chard
(the real Miss USA 2006, if you asked me), Carolina Panthers
quarterback Jake Delhomme and famous-for-reasons-unknown Clay
Aiken.
Now not to brag, but I like my chances to fetch the highest
bid. In fact, I'm thinking mine might go for as much as $1,000.
After all, who wouldn't want a purse designed by one of the most
side-splittingly hilarious bachelors in the entire Lowcountry?
With a check inside for $1,000.