What a total piece of craft
IT BEATS WORKING
By Bryce Donovan of The Post and Courier
Originally published on 4/12/2007

Three months ago, when the Center For Women approached me and asked if I'd design a purse for its annual "It's in the Bag" charity fundraiser - an honor previously bestowed on only the most influential men and women in the community - I said, "Absolutely!"

And then completely forgot about it.

But the human brain is an amazing thing. For reasons I'm not quite sure of, something clicked up there and I remembered just in time. Only replace "remembered" with "got an e-mail from the center," and "just in time" with "telling me they were due that day."

Now instead of panicking because I hadn't even started, I calmly drew on all my creativity, resourcefulness and artistic ability to come up with the perfect idea.

But then I thought: Having my girlfriend do it for me probably isn't the right thing to do. Not to mention, how would an inflatable doll make a purse in the first place?

So instead I decided to roll up my sleeves and do it myself. I began the entire pursemaking process by asking three basic questions:

1. What exactly do women look for in a good purse?

2. How will it complement an elegant outfit?

3. What's something I can finish in, like, 45 minutes?

I also knew I needed to design a purse that said something about me. What I came up with was a purse that looked like a rolled up newspaper (not only because I work at the newspaper, but because my mom used to always hit me with one when I got into the garbage). Immediately, I got to work. But it turns out nobody on the Web sells purses that look like newspapers. Which meant I was going to have to make it myself. Or even worse, go to Wal-Mart.

Now, yes, I pick on Wal-Mart, but they really do have everything you could ever need there. Candy, step ladders, shampoo, glue, cheap purses, iron-on pieces of paper that can be glued onto cheap purses to pawn them off as your own design, and the list goes on.

It was only after I got home that I realized I was on the verge of making fashion history. Consider this: Never has a woman ever been at a formal event, walking around carrying her purse, and been asked: "Excuse me, ma'am, do you know where the men's room is? And do you mind if I borrow your Sports section?"

Pure genius.

It took a little less than 24 hours for my vision to be complete. For your own well-being, I won't go into the details of any of the following:

--The step-by-step process of making the purse

--The strange desire to drink wine coolers and watch "Grey's Anatomy" while making the purse

--Carrying the purse around my living room and being spotted by the neighbors

--Spilling an entire bottle of super glue while cleaning up

--The step-by-step process of making another purse because you spilled an entire bottle of super glue on the first one and then had to drink six wine coolers and fantasize about McDreamy just to keep from killing anyone.

Now that my purse is finished, I can't wait for the big auction April 26. Some of the others asked to design a purse include Miss USA 2006 Tara Conner, Channel 5 anchor Debi Chard (the real Miss USA 2006, if you asked me), Carolina Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme and famous-for-reasons-unknown Clay Aiken.

Now not to brag, but I like my chances to fetch the highest bid. In fact, I'm thinking mine might go for as much as $1,000. After all, who wouldn't want a purse designed by one of the most side-splittingly hilarious bachelors in the entire Lowcountry? With a check inside for $1,000.
 
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