By DENESHIA GRAHAM
The Post and Courier
Originally Published on: 10/03/02
Page: C1

October generally is associated with Halloween and scary stories that aren't true.

But there are some scary stories of domestic violence that are.

This month, designated Domestic Violence Awareness Month, The Center for Women, a West Ashley-based organization dedicated to women's personal and professional success, and My Sister's House, a shelter for women in domestic violence situations and their children, are teaming up to provide two programs targeting domestic violence.

On Oct. 17 at noon, the center will host "Domestic Violence: Women Who Love Too Much." "Domestic Violence: Why Women Stay" will be the topic Oct. 24 at noon.

They are part of the center's Brown Bag Lunch Series - one-hour programs on different topics that effect or relate to women.

The programs are free, open to the public, and no registra- tion is required.

"I like to see us as preventative and rehabilitative on the other end," said Jennet Robinson Alterman, executive director at The Center for Women, of the variety of programs offered.

"I hope that the program will increase awareness of the issue of domestic violence and, at the same time, prompt and promote discussion of the issue," she said of this month's series.

According to information from the National Domestic Violence Hotline, nearly 31 percent of American women report being physically or sexually abused at some point by a husband or boyfriend. Other statistics show that women are five to eight times more likely than men to be victimized in a domestic violence situation. In 2000, Charleston County ranked No. 1 in the state in terms of the amount of reported incidents of domestic violence assaults, according to the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault.

"Basically, domestic violence can happen to anyone. It can be your sister, mother, friend," said Elmire Raven, executive director of the local My Sister's House and a survivor of physical domestic abuse.

Founded in 1980, My Sister's House is a national, nonprofit shelter with 13 sites throughout the state. The local shelter, which, like others, is in a confidential location, serves the three-county area.

Women in need of shelter from an abusive relationship can contact My Sister's House by phone 24 hours a day. A staff member meets the woman either at the hospital or the police station.

Once at the shelter, women can stay for up to 45 days. The shelter offers basic services such as food and clothing and other services such as counseling and financial help so the women can begin their lives over again.

"Our mission is to empower women to help themselves and to live a life free from abuse," Raven said.

Benita Rembert is an example of the shelter's mission fulfilled.

Today, Rembert is a woman of faith, unapologetically vocal about her experience with domestic abuse and her religious beliefs. But it was about three years ago that she left her home after being instilled with fear and intimidation.

"I was basically a prisoner in my house," said Rembert, 34, a manager at a restaurant and a Moncks Corner resident.

While Rembert wasn't physically abused, she said, the abuse was mental - and just as tormenting. She wasn't allowed to work or continue her education. She didn't have much freedom to communicate with others. She endured threats, screaming and in-your-face intimidation, she said.

"The threat of violence was always there," she said, adding that suicide became an option for her. "Mental abuse is just as devastating as physical abuse."


Rembert, the mother of two young sons, decided to leave and went to My Sister's House. Her motivation, she said, came from her belief in God and her older sister, who died at the hands of an abuser in Florida.

Now, despite being raised to believe marriages were meant to last no matter what the circumstances, Rembert has found any form of abuse is unacceptable.

"God didn't intend for a woman to be a punching bag," she said.

For more information on the Domestic Violence Awareness Month programs, contact The Center for Women at 763-7333. My Sister's House can be reached at 744-3242.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS

Several programs are planned this month to address domestic violence awareness through The Center for Women and My Sister's House Inc. For more information, contact The Center for Women at 763-7333. My Sister's House can be reached at 744-3242 or the toll-free crisis line at (800) 273-HOPE.

PROGRAM INFORMATION

-- "Domestic Violence: Women Who Love Too Much" - noon Oct. 17 at The Center for Women, 531 Savannah Highway, West Ashley.

-- "Domestic Violence: Why Women Stay" - noon Oct. 24 at The Center for Women.

-- "Putting the Pieces Together: Community Prevention of Domestic Violence" - also sponsored through My Sister's House, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Oct. 26 at Trident Technical College in North Charleston. It will be open to the public.